Broken Soul
by xxxBloodiedWolfPawxxx
Summary: You can't always tell a book by its cover. Angel Childs has seen the darkest side of life, and has tried to kill herself almost seven times. Now, she tries to help those who suffer like she did. Now, she is trying to help Gajeel escape a deadly depression before it's too late. GajeelxOC
1. Chapter One: Broken Promises

**Chapter One: Broken Promises**

The sun was shining brightly, spreading warmth all over the town of Magnolia, but the warmth couldn't to comfort him. He felt cold. Had for years. Nothing had been able to make him warm again. He knew why, but he refused to admit it.

Instead he stayed in a dark corner of the guild. Away from everyone and everything. Even his cat couldn't cheer him up anymore. Nothing could. He hadn't felt real happiness in years, and hadn't worn a genuine smile in what seemed like forever.

The one bright spot in his life had disappeared, because of his idiot mistake and poor temper. The only person he had ever loved.

No… Because of this he could never love again. He was convinced of it. He was too scared he'd make the same mistake, and would get the same result.

He was afraid to love, but the loneliness was suffocating, and the darkness of his depression only caused him pain.

All because of one promise he couldn't keep. One _damned promise!_

"Hey!" Slowly his eyes shifted over to the rosette dragon slayer who was probably going to harass him and piss him off.

_Keep your temper Gajeel. The last thing you need is for this idiot to die because of you too… _he thought and sighed. "What the fucking hell do you want Salamander?"

Natsu raised an eyebrow. "What's your problem?" he asked. Gajeel only sighed in response. "Anyway, Master wants you." After giving the iron dragon slayer a confused glance he wandered away, most likely starting another fight with Gray.

With a heavy sigh he stood, heading over to the bar where the old man sat, a young girl standing next to him. She had black hair down to her shoulders, and bangs over her right eye. Her eyes were steel gray, and she dressed in all black, with knee high boots, fish net stockings, a short black skirt, and a tight black zip-up tank top, with red outlining the fabric. Around her neck was a twisted metal screw on a piece of string. On her arms were black tip-less gloves that went up to her elbows.

His eyes landed on her for two seconds before he looked at Master. "You wanted me?" He grumbled.

"Yes. Meet Angel Childs. She's new to the guild. She's a Lava Dragon Slayer. Apparently she's a big admirer of yours," Master said. Gajeel frowned.

"Hi! It's really nice to meet you," she said with a bright smile. Gajeel sighed. Her smile fell.

"Gajeel!" He turned at the sound of his name, coming face to face with Levy and her team.

"Yeah?" he asked, wanting nothing more than to go back to his corner.

"You wanna go on a job with us?" Levy asked. He sighed.

"Depends, what's the job?" he asked reluctantly. Angel perked up as well.

"Gotta get rid of a whole group of Vulcans. About sixty of them." Droy said. Jet nodded.

"We can't do it alone man," he said. Gajeel sighed.

"Whatever," he said with another sigh.

"That sounds fun! Can I come?" Angel asked. Levy smiled.

"Sure! We could use as much help as possible," she said. Angel smiled back.

"We'll meet at the train station at noon," Jet said. Gajeel sighed.

_Two hours… Great… _he thought stalking away and back to his corner. He grabbed his things and headed out, heading home to pack, though he really didn't really want to go. He felt sluggish as he threw things into a bag. He hadn't seen Lily since this morning, but he also wasn't thinking much about it. His mind was too clouded.

Something about that Angel girl… It made him think of the past, and his broken promise… The only promise he had never been able to keep.

He felt a pain rise in his chest and he had to pause, his hands pressed against his bed, bracing himself against the rush of emotion. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe against the tightness in his throat that threatened to suffocate him.

"Why now?" he muttered, feeling a single tear slip down his cheek. "Why this? Why now?"

Her smile was the worst part. It made the memories so much worse, so much more real.

Sure, there was at least something that reminded him of her every day, but not like this. Nothing had ever choked him up this bad.

"Gajeel?" he jumped, still struggling to control his emotions.

"Hey Lily," he said standing, a calm mask of disinterest replacing his expression of pain. "You coming with us to get rid of those Vulcans?" he asked, throwing the last of his things in his bag.

"Of course. When are we leaving?" Pantherlily asked, landing on the bed next to Gajeel's bag.

"Noon. Gives a good two hours to do whatever," Gajeel said, turning to stare out a window. Pantherlily nodded.

"That's what I was thinking. I'll meet you at the station at noon then. Happy and Carla wanted me for something," the dark furred cat said, his wings unfolding once more. Gajeel nodded absently.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked as he reached the door.

"Fine," Gajeel said, turning away from the window and running his hand through his hair.

"If you say so," Lily said before flying out. Gajeel sighed, thankful to be alone once again. He sat down on the edge of his bed and his head fell into his hands. He sat like this for a few minutes before lowering his hands to his knees, before turning them over, his eyes shifting over the scars that decorated his wrists. Not just his large battle scars. Little, neatly made scars, at least if raking a razor over your wrist was considered neat. He had dozens of them, up and down both wrists, old, new, reopened. He couldn't count them all anymore. And no one noticed them anyway because he already had so many and no one paid any attention.

Once again Gajeel's head fell to his hands and he let out a shaky breath escaped him. He didn't want to give into the emotions that were swirling around his body, nor did he want to break down, but he felt like he was suffocating under all of the pressure.

Yes, he would need both full hours to himself if he wanted to be composed for the job.

At least, somewhat composed.

XxX

He ended up being late to the train station, however when he arrived Angel was the only other one there. She had greeted him, and he had grunted at her in response. She hadn't spoken to him since, seeing as she realized he didn't want to be bothered.

It was bout fifteen minutes more before Levy and the rest of her team showed up, Lily in tow.

"Sorry we're late guys!" Levy said apologetically. Angel smiled at her.

"Don't worry about it!" the lava slayer said. "It's not a problem. I was super early anyway." Levy smiled back and looked at Gajeel who was looking away, and not seeming to be paying attention.

"Gajeel?" she called softly. Jet and Droy shared a look of confusion. Gajeel didn't respond, and Levy spoke louder. "Gajeel." When he still didn't respond she walked over and waved her hand in front of his face. "Gajeel!" He jumped and looked at her.

"What?" he asked, scowling.

"Are you alright? You seem a little out of it," she said. He shrugged.

"I'm fine. Now come on, or we're gonna miss the train," he said in a bored manner, before walking away, towards where their train was located. The other four looked at each other in confusion as Lily sighed.

"He's right. Let's go," the cat said. The others nodded and followed after the iron slayer silently.

XxX

They had been on the train for almost two hours. It had given Gajeel time to think, and though it was loud, at least he was able to tune out for the most part. Levy, Jet, and Droy sat in one set of benches, and Gajeel sat on another bench, Lily next to him, and Angel sitting across from him.

However, since they had gotten on the train she had been staring at him, and he'd been able to ignore it for the most part, but now it was starting to bug the hell out of him.

"What?" he finally growled, tearing his gaze from the window. Angel shrugged.

"Nothing…" she said, not even flinching.

"You've been staring at me for two hours. Why?" he snapped. She shrugged again.

"I don't know. There's something about you, and I can't figure out what," she finally admitted, looking out the window, her arms crossed. He felt his lips twitch into a dark scowl.

"I don't see how what's wrong with me is any of your business," he snapped, his voice slightly threatening.

"It doesn't matter. I'm stubborn, and I will find out," she said. He scoffed.

"Whatever new girl," he muttered, looking out the window again. She giggled darkly.

"This is why I admire you. You don't take shit from anyone. And my name is Angel, not new girl thanks," she said. Gajeel just shook his head.

"Whatever."

XxX

"So, we'll head up and get rid of those Vulcans tomorrow," Jet said as they headed out of the train station. It was dark out, around eight at night.

"Sounds good!" Angel said with a smile.

"Can we go get something to eat?" Droy asked. "The food on the train sucked," he said.

Levy nodded. "After that we'll head to the hotel," she said as they headed towards the closest restaurant. Gajeel was silent, and just followed without input. It was quiet as they ate, and then they walked around town, trying to find their hotel. Gajeel kept his hands in his pocket and his head and eyes down.

"So who's with who?" Jet asked.

"Well, obviously, you three are sharing a room and Angel and I are sharing a room, "Levy said. Droy groaned.

"Why are you even complaining? I'm the one sleeping on the pull out couch," Gajeel snapped absently. Jet and Droy gave him a look and Angel laughed.

It was silent after that, as they finally found the hotel and checked in. They headed up to the room and Gajeel sighed. There was no couch in the room, only two beds and a bathroom.

"Oh, damn bro. Are you sure you don't want me and Droy to share a bed?" Jet asked. Droy didn't look thrilled, but he nodded.

"We don't mind," Droy said. Gajeel shook his head.

"I'll just sleep on the damn floor. Don't worry about it," Gajeel growled. They shrugged.

"Whatever man," Jet said. It wasn't long before they both were asleep and Gajeel was the only one awake. He sat next to the open window, Lily asleep on his lap. His mind was far away, as his fingers slowly combed through Pantherlily's fur.

_That Angel girl…_ She had been bugging him all day. She reminded him of things he had never wanted to remember. And she looked just like…

He sighed. _Well, if she was still alive anyway… She would have looked just like Angel… _

He still remembered the day clearly. Remembered her smiling at him, and playing with him. He had been so young then. Just abandoned by Metallicana. She had been a bright spot in his life at a low point. And he had promised to always protect her, to never let anything hurt her.

And yet… he'd broken his promise because he lost his temper. She was dead because he was immature.

The fight had been so stupid. Something in his head had told him to walk away, and yet his pride wouldn't let him. He had to stand up to the guy who'd pissed him off or he knew he'd only get more pissed off.

And then, in the middle of the fight she started screaming, telling them to stop, but he almost couldn't hear her in his rage. Her voice hadn't been enough to stop him, or get through to him.

He'd barely felt her hands on his arm, trying to pull him away, to stop him, and yet, he just kept ignoring her. Kept swinging, rage and adrenaline fueling him.

And then, before he could react she jumped between them, taking the hit, which consisted of his arm being a metal pole, and then…

She had fallen limply to the floor, blood slowly seeping from her ears and nose, her eyes blank and dull, staring straight. Her skull had been completely shattered with just one blow…

The whole guild had gone silent, and both he and the idiot he was fighting stopped. He felt his eyes widen, and a sickness knot itself in his stomach. Never before then had he been so horrified, at himself or anything.

It was a day he would always remember. The day he had accidentally killed her in the middle of the Phantom Lord Guild Hall.

Graciea Redfox.

His baby sister.


	2. Chapter 2: Graciea Redfox

**Chapter Two: Graciea Redfox**

When Gajeel woke in the morning his mind was cloudy. The sun was shining but he was exhausted. He hadn't slept well, since he hadn't been able to sleep, thoughts of Graciea plaguing mind.

"Oh hey, you're finally awake," Jet said as he entered the hotel room. Gajeel looked up and blinked. "You look like you had a rough night. You okay?" he asked. Gajeel nodded slowly and stood, stretching.

Silently he packed his stuff back up and changed clothes. They planned on returning that night after they took down the Vulcans but he didn't feel like leaving a mess of his stuff. He put his stuff in a corner and turned to walk out of the room.

"What's this?" He turned to see jet lean down and pick something up off the ground. His eyes widened when he saw it and quickly snatched it away from him.

"It's nothing," he said quickly, slipping it into his pocket. It had been the only picture that Gajeel still had of Graciea. He took it with him everywhere, and no one had seen it except for Juvia, Pantherlily, and Jose when he was still in Phantom Lord.

Jet gave him an odd look but let it go.

"We're all in the lobby waiting," he said. Gajeel nodded and headed out.

XxX

They had to walk up a large mountainous incline, which was taking time. Unfortunately this allowed Gajeel to be caught up in his memories, which he wasn't very grateful for…

"_Gajeel-nii!" He turn, a small smile on his face. Dressed in a cute, white dress, was Graciea, who stood before him with a bright smile. "Will you play tag with me today?" _

"_We'll see. I still have to work," he said. She pouted a little. _

"_But Nii-san!" she whined. "I almost never get to play with you anymore!"_

_He ruffled her hair with a sad smile. "I know… I know… I'm sorry," he said. She grinned again and hugged him. _

"_It's okay! I forgive you! Maybe Juvia-san will play with me!" she said, running off before Gajeel could say anymore. He smiled and shook his head, heading over to the job request board. _

_It had only been a year since Metallicana had abandoned them, but they were getting along, with help from Master Jose, and the other, older members of the guild. Gajeel was pretty damn proud of himself, because he was keeping his promise to Metallicana by taking care of Graciea, and keeping her happy. _

"_Goin' on another one Black Steel?" though he still didn't like the name much, the guild had been calling him that since he joined._

_He shrugged. "Gotta feed Graciea somehow…" The man next to him laughed. _

"_I can understand that," he said, grabbing a job and then ruffled Gajeel's hair. The young slayer glared at the man. "Good luck kid," he said before walking away. Gajeel sighed and let his eyes roam the board, trying to find a job easy enough for him to do by himself. _

_After maybe twenty minutes of staring at the board he finally grabbed a job. _

"_Put that back, Gajeel. That's mine," he whipped around to glare at another kid in the guild. He growled. _

"_Oh yeah? And who the hell you feeding? You still live with your parents!" He snapped. "I have a little sister to take care of! You can pick your own job!" He growled. _

"_You wanna go?" the kid snapped, shadows appearing in his hand. Gajeel growled and slammed the job paper down on a nearby table. _

"_I'll make you run home crying," Gajeel threatened. The kid laughed. _

"_Sure you will!" he sneered. "Shadow Make Club!" The boy leapt at Gajeel, who threw his arms up, which by this point were completely covered in hard iron scales. He blocked the attack and threw the boy back. _

"_Gonna have to try harder than that!" Gajeel growled. The boy growled back. Some of the adults in the guild sighed, while others laughed. The fight continued for several minutes, neither boy giving an inch. _

"_Gajeel-nii! Stop!" He almost turned at the sound of Graciea calling out to him, but something in his mind refused to let him give this up. _

"_Iron Dragon's Fist!" He punched the boy, who countered with a kick to his stomach. _

"_Gajeel-nii! Stop, please!" He felt her tug on his arm, but he just yanked it away. _

"_Get out of my way!" he snapped at her, giving her a glare before attacking the boy again. "Iron Dragon's Club!" _

_As his arm became an iron pole and shot out at the boy, instead of watching the boy go flying, he heard the sound of shattering. A series of sickeningly loud cracks. His arm immediately shot back to him, his eyes going wide as a collective gasp echoed throughout the guild. _

"_You're a monster!" the kid yelled, as Gajeel felt like he might vomit. _

"_Graciea… No, no, no, no, no!" he screamed, dropping to his knees next to her. Her eyes stared ahead, dull and lifeless, blood seeping slowly out of her ears and nose. He started to sob as he pulled her into his arms, her skull shifting around in a sickening way. _

"_NO!" he screamed, sobbing into her chest, as the guild sat in silent horror and shock. The kid had run off, terrified, and Gajeel felt like dying right there. _

_Suddenly he felt arms pulling him off the floor and away from Graciea. He fought, kicking and screaming, and yet, whoever was pulling him away was stronger. _

_Suddenly all the fight left him and his body went limp with grief as he sobbed. _

_He was carried to one of the rooms off the infirmary. Normally it was used for those who were extremely sick or injured. Now he was dropped heavily on the bed, and he watched as the man who had brought him in walked out and locked the door. He felt his eyes widen again, and he ran forward, stumbling clumsily more than anything and then pounded on the door. Outside the door he could hear no sound, and it scared him. _

_Finally he gave up, curling up on the floor and letting his grief take him. His body shook, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He kept seeing her face in his head, and the blood…_

_It made him sick to his stomach. Slowly, still crying and shaking he located the trash can in the corner and started to crawl over to it. Unfortunately he didn't make it, and threw up on the floor, until he could only dry heave. _

_Finally, as the sky outside the window darkened, he collapsed on the floor, exhausted. He still could hear no sound from outside the room, but he didn't care anymore. _

_Graciea was dead… And it was his fault. He'd killed her with his own hands, and he knew he could never take it back. If only he'd listened to her…_

_Finally, his tired mind couldn't keep working and he passed out. _

_XxX_

_When he woke in the morning, he still lay on the floor next to day old vomit. It made his empty stomach turn, and he crawled away, towards the door. Silently he reached up and tried to open it._

_Locked…_

_Then it all came rushing back to him and once again, tears escaped him. _

"_No… Graciea…" he sobbed. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry!" _

_His cries cut off as the lock to the door clicked, and the door started to open. He backed away, cowering as Master Jose and two other older members of the guild entered. Jose frowned darkly and Gajeel swallowed hard. He was sure he was in for it. _

"_Clean that up!" Jose snapped at one of the men, who immediately sprang into action and did as asked. Meanwhile, Jose slowly walked closer to Gajeel, who continued to back away, until Jose had caught up with him. _

_The older man kneeled and placed a single hand on Gajeel's head. _

"_I'm sorry son," he said, giving the young dragon slayer a sympathetic look. Gajeel flinched when Jose touched him and looked down, starting to get choked up again. _

"_M-Master?" He looked up at the soft girl's voice, having recognized it as Juvia's. Jose looked back and waved her in, and she walked over and sat down next to Gajeel on the floor. _

"_I'm sorry…" she said. Gajeel couldn't speak, for fear of breaking down again. _

_The look of Graciea after taking the hit haunted his mind. _

…

"Hey! Gajeel! Wake up man!" He jumped, and looked over at Jet.

"What?" he snapped, the memories fading quickly. The others were staring at him with mixed looks of concern and confusion.

"Are you alright? You're super out of it today," Droy said. Gajeel sighed.

"I'm fine!" He snapped. He took a quick look at their surroundings and realized they were to the cave with the Vulcans. "Are we going to take them out, or stand here debating if I'm alright or not?" They guys exchanged a look.

"You're right. Come on," they said, before they headed in.

XxX

He barely remembered the fight. It was blur in his mind, and it had been easy, at least for him it had been.

Now, he just felt tired. He hadn't even worked that hard, but he was just so tired! He still felt out of it. The looks the others were giving him, Angel especially, weren't helping.

When they got back into town it was still relatively early, so they decided to walk around and maybe even shop a little. Gajeel kept quiet, and kept his eyes down, Pantherlily flying next to him.

A wave of lethargy washed over him and shook his head to dispel it, though the attempt failed.

"Gajeel, are you sure you're alright?" the dark furred creature asked. Gajeel didn't respond, as a sudden dizziness assaulted him. He felt himself stumble, and his balance left him. He started to tilt, falling into a wall, which he used to support himself.

"Gajeel!" Pantherlily said again. Gajeel's eyes slipped closed as his legs gave out and he collapsed. "Gajeel!"

By now the others had turned to see what was going on, and they all gasped.

"Gajeel!" Angel cried as she and Levy hurried over to the downed dragon slayer. He groaned softly, and Levy pressed her hand to his forehead.

"We need to get him back to the hotel, now," she said. Before anyone could say anything or make a single move Pantherlily shifted forms and picked Gajeel up, carefully slinging the unconscious slayer onto his back.

They group hurried back to the hotel and to the boys' room, laying Gajeel on the bed closest to the door.

"I've never seen a dragon slayer get sick like this before," Jet said, running a hand through his hair.

"Me neither…" Droy said.

Levy watched Gajeel worriedly. "How? He didn't have trouble during the fight…"

Angel was thinking. "I… I've gotten sick like this before. It's almost like he's worn himself down emotionally, to a point where it's now affecting him physically," she said. "It's really dangerous, but I've only seen it this bad in people who are very severely depressed." Jet and Droy exchanged a look.

"He's been acting super strange lately," Droy said.

"Yeah. He isn't getting in as many fights as he used to. And he doesn't eat as much metal as normal either," Jet explained.

"And he's been isolating himself more and more. He used to tell me everything when he first took me in, and now, he barely talks to me," Pantherlily said. Angel frowned.

"Anything else? New scars? Differences in his sleeping habits?" she asked worriedly.

"From what Lily's said, he doesn't sleep much at night. I mean, he always looks half asleep when he first comes into the guild. He's actually fallen asleep in the corner sometimes," Levy said. "As for new scars… He has so many of them, it's hard to tell." Angel bit her lip and stepped closer to Gajeel, lifting one of his wrists. Her heart sank as she carefully ran her fingers over the line of scars on his wrists. These looked pretty fresh too.

"This isn't good," she said. "He has all the signs… Why?" she asked. Team Shadow Gear exchanged looks.

"We don't know…" Levy finally said. "He's not really one to open up to people." Angel nodded.

Suddenly, Gajeel twitched, and a soft moan escaped his lips. The others all perked up, and looked over at him.

"Graciea…" He whimpered, his face twisted in pain. Angel frowned.

"Who's Graciea?" she asked. The others shook their heads.

"No idea… I've never heard that name before," Levy said.

"Me either," Jet said. Angel's frown deepened. "We'll need to find someone who does when we get back to Magnolia. Whoever she is, I'll be you all my rent money she's why he's depressed." The others nodded slowly.

"We could talk to Juvia… She was in his old guild," Levy said. "They've known each other for years." Angel nodded.

"Perfect." She took a final look at Gajeel before sighing.

'Just what is it that you're burying?'


	3. Chapter 3: Hardened Iron Scales

**Chapter Three: Hardened Iron Scales**

"_Why Gajeel-nii? Why did you kill me? Did you do it because you were sick of me? Because I was just your annoying little sister?" Her voice came out of utter darkness. He could hear her circling him, taunting him. "Was is because you were sick of me not taking care of myself? Or did you forget your promise to Metallicana?" _

"_No…" he moaned in anguish. "No! It was an accident! I never meant to hurt you!" _

"_HA! AN ACCIDENT! THAT'S SO FUNNY NII-SAN!" Her laughter was cruel and mocking. Suddenly, her face appeared in front of him, bloody, her eyes dull and lifeless. "An accident! What do you take me for? A fool? It was no accident Gajeel-nii! You heard me telling you to stop, and you attacked me!" She laughed again. "You're such an idiot. And your temper… Oh don't even get me started!"_

"_S-Stop… Please…" he begged. He couldn't take this… He couldn't breathe, and his heart pounded in his chest. _

"_NO! Not until you admit you killed me! Admit is Nii-san! Admit it!" He held his head with his hands and shook his head. "ADMIT IT!" _

"No!" he screamed as he sat straight. The room was dark, and he was the only one in the room, trying to catch his breath. It had seemed so real… her voice… her face…

"Gajeel?" his head whipped towards the door, where Angel and Levy were peeking in. Slowly they entered, and Angel flipped on the light. He flinched at the brightness, his head pounding.

"Are you alright?" Levy asked softly. He didn't answer as Angel came over and wiped the sweat off his face before he could stop her.

"Fine," he lied, sighing.

"I'll be the judge of that Gajeel," Angel said. She pressed her hand to his forehead and then snatched it back before he could push her away. "You still have a fever," she said with a frown. Gajeel sighed.

"I'm fine," he insisted.

"Too bad. It's like eight at night. Get some more rest. If your fevers gone in the morning we'll head home," Angel said. Levy nodded as Lily flew into the room.

"Watch him for me okay?" Angel asked. The dark furred exceed nodded.

"Goodnight Gajeel," Levy said as the two girls retreated before he could protest.

"Go to sleep Gajeel," Lily commanded. Gajeel sighed and laid back down, turning to face the wall, his glare burning a hole in the wall, even through the darkness.

Lily sighed as well. He didn't quite understand what was going on with Gajeel, but he could obviously see that Gajeel was upset and in pain, despite his best efforts to hide it. It was frustrating because he knew it was going to be hard to help Gajeel, since the dragon slayer was so stubborn.

"Oh Gajeel," he murmured to himself, shaking his head. He could see that he had fallen asleep already, despite his unwillingness to do as he was told.

_Angel seems to know what this is like… Hopefully she can help him…_

XxX

As soon as they arrived in Magnolia the next day, Gajeel headed straight home as the others expected. They could see he still didn't feel well, and wouldn't have left if he hadn't bitched up a storm about it. Lily followed the iron slayer, and the other four headed straight to the guild.

"Let's see…" Levy said scanning the guild for Juvia. When her eyes landed on her, she nodded. "This way." Angel, Jet, and Droy followed her over to where the water user sat, staring at Gray across the guild.

"Juvia?" Levy said softly. Juvia jumped and looked over at her, her eyes hardening.

"Yes?" she responded, pursing her lips and raising an eye brow. Levy, her team, and Angel sat at the table with Juvia, Jet and Droy blocking her view of Gray.

"We need to talk to you," Angel said seriously. Juvia looked a bit confused.

"About what?" she asked, her eyes shifting to each person at her table.

"It's about Gajeel," Levy said, frowning.

"What about him? Is he alright?" Juvia asked. Angel sighed the tiniest bit.

"What we tell you stays between the five us and Lily, who also knows what's going on. He… He got sick while we were on our job, and we suspect he may be depressed," Angel said. Juvia gasped quietly, her eyes widening. "And we figured you might be able to answer a few questions for us."

Juvia nodded. "Juvia will do her best, but Gajeel is very reserved," she said.

Angel nodded. "Yeah, we noticed. But, anyway, who's Graciea?" Juvia paled at that and looked away.

"Juvia isn't supposed to talk about it," she said. "But if it will help you help Gajeel then... Then you must promise not to tell anyone and not to tell Gajeel Juvia told you," she said nervously.

"We promise," Levy said.

"Alright. Graciea… She's… Well, she _was _Gajeel's baby sister…" Juvia said, looking up sadly. Levy gasped a little and Angel frowned.

"What happened to her?" she asked. Juvia squirmed in her seat a little.

"She… Died in an accident..." she said.

"What kind of accident?" Angel pressed.

"She… Gajeel got in a fight with someone, and Graciea jumped in the middle of it… She took a hard hit and it… It killed her…" Juvia said. "She was so little…"

Angel looked shocked, but a lot more made sense than before. "He accidentally killed his little sister?" Juvia nodded.

"Juvia doesn't think he ever got over it. For two months after she died he kept saying he'd broken his promise to Metallicana, his dragon, and he refused to go on jobs. Do you think… He's still blaming himself for it?" Juvia asked softly.

"I think that's it exactly," Angel said with a sigh. "This kind of depression is so tricky," she mused.

"Do you have any pictures of her?" Levy asked. Juvia nodded.

"Juvia only keeps it because I played with Graciea because she was so young and Gajeel was always working to keep her fed," she said, carefully removing a picture from her coat and placing it on the table. The girl in the photo looked to be about only five, maybe younger, and she had short black hair. Her eyes were a smoky gray color, and she had a bright, happy smile on her face. Behind her, a young Gajeel kneeled, a confident smirk on his face, one of his arms around her.

Jet's eyes widened. "I saw this picture yesterday. Gajeel dropped it before we left to get rid of the Vulcans and when I asked what it was he snatched it back and said it was nothing…" Juvia looked sad.

"Gajeel hates for people outside of Phantom Lord to know about Graciea. He feels so guilty about it, and Juvia thinks he feels like people would hate him if they knew," Juvia said, taking the picture back and looking down. "Juvia knows Gajeel has shown the picture to Pantherlily, but he never told him who it was."

"She almost looks like you, Angel," Levy said sadly. Angel nodded.

"It would explain why he looks at me funny," she said. "I might remind him of her." Juvia nodded.

"Juvia can see the resemblance. If Juvia was Gajeel, then well… I would probably avoid you." Angel sighed.

"Great…" she said with a sigh. "Anyway, thank you for your help Juvia. It'll help a lot in the long run," she said standing. Levy and her team thanked Juvia as well and followed Angel away from the table.

"So what now?" Jet asked.

"I'm going to talk to him tomorrow," she said. "There's no use in bothering him again today, especially if he isn't feeling well." Levy nodded.

"Do you want us to help you?" she asked. Angel shook her head quickly.

"No. At this point, all four of us ganging up on him might make the situation beyond repair," she said. "I'll handle this." Levy nodded.

"How do you know about all of this depression stuff?" Droy asked.

"I tried to kill myself seven times because of something similar to this. When I was young… I accidentally summoned a demon that killed my family. My dragon took me in after that, taught me my magic, but after he disappeared, I got depressed. The Master of my first guild, Master Bob from Blue Pegasus… He saved my life and got me back on my feet. I'm repaying him by helping other people like me," she said. Droy nodded and now Jet looked confused.

"Why'd you leave Blue Pegasus?" he asked.

"Something told me I needed to be here in Fairy Tail. I told Master Bob and he and Master Makarov worked out my transfer here," she said. "I guess I was right huh?"

XxX

The next day when Angel entered the guild she immediately spotted Gajeel in his dark corner of the guild. She stopped and said hello to Levy on her way over and gave her a hopeful thumbs up before continuing her way over, and sitting down across from Gajeel. He didn't look up from his bowl of metal, though it looked like it had been untouched.

"Hi," she said just loud enough to get his attention. He looked up and his eyes narrowed.

"What do you want? Did you finally figure out what's wrong with me?" he snapped. Angel didn't flinch what so ever, her gaze staying even.

"Maybe," she said, her tone unreadable.

"Maybe? What the hell kind of answer is that?" he asked, scowling darkly.

"I know about Graciea," Angel deadpanned at a whisper. Gajeel's eyes went wide, before rage filled his features.

"WHAT?!" He roared. People looked over, and then away again, not caring.

"I know she died in an accident, and that you still feel guilty, all these years later. You don't have to keep carrying that with you, you know," she said. Gajeel looked nearly blind with fury.

"I don't where the hell you found out about that, but you better mind your own damn business," he growled.

"Or what? You'll kill me too?" Angel wanted to say sarcastically. However, she knew better. She knew what that would do to him, and that would just make this worse.

Instead she spoke softly, knowing he probably wouldn't listen to her when he was this angry but it was worth a shot. "I killed my whole family Gajeel. My mother, my father… My brother… In an accident. I didn't know what I was doing and summoned a demon what wiped them out. I lived on the Southern Continent at the time, and… If my dragon hadn't found me, the demon might have killed me too. I learned my magic from Lavaris, and then he disappeared. I thought it was because he hated me. Later I found out about the other dragons, but… I was depressed, and I wanted to die… Seven times I tried… But Master Bob of Blue Pegasus saved me, and rescued me from the darkness. I can help you too, Gajeel. But only if you'll let me," she said carefully watching his facial expression.

"Enough!" He roared, his temper flaring. The table in front of him flipped, metal scattering all over the floor. Angel stood as well, holding her ground. "Mind your own goddamn business!" He snapped, his arm becoming a pole. He swing it at her in a rage, and she caught it easily between her palms, which heated up. He hissed and yanked his arm back.

"Gajeel, you don't want to do this," she said quickly before he could attack again. He suddenly paled, his eyes going wide, and his arm went back to normal. He looked ashamed, and more upset than before.

"Stay the hell away from me!" He yelled before storming out of the guild. Angel sighed and righted the table with one hand as Levy hurried over and helped her pick up the metal.

"That didn't work so well," she commented. The guild was staring, but the two girls ignored it.

"This is only the first step Levy. I'm not gonna give up because of this. I didn't push him any farther, because something bad would have happened," Angel said. Levy nodded.

"Are you going to go after him?" she asked. Angel shook her head.

"Not when he's this upset. At least, this time. If I hadn't been the one to piss him off, maybe. Right now he needs time to cool down. Pantherlily went after him, so he'll be okay for a while," Angel said sitting back down.

"Yeah, Lily was watching the whole time," Levy said looking towards the door again.

"I asked him to, because I knew what would happen this time. I was like that at first too. Master Bob would piss me off and then let me cool down, and then bug the hell out of me again. After a while, it stopped making me mad, and I started to recover, though him bugging me wasn't the only factor. I had Hibiki bugging me too, and both of them were trying to help me let go of the guilt. It's not easy but it's possible. He just needs time," Angel explained. Levy nodded.

"I just hope we aren't too late," Levy said, looking back at Angel with worried eyes. Angel nodded.

"Oh, I know Levy, trust me. So do I."


	4. Chapter 4: Fragile

**Chapter 4: Fragile**

The next morning when Angel woke she had a feeling of nervousness in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't explain it, and as she got dressed the feeling got worse.

By the time she got to the guild she felt shaky. Normally she didn't try to ignore a feeling like this, but normally there was a damn good reason for it and right now she was completely confused as to why she was nervous.

She sat down at Levy's table and gave them a shallow smile.

"Are you alright?" Levy asked. Angel shrugged.

"I dunno. I've been having this weird feeling all morning, and I can't explain it," she said, looking down and twiddling her thumbs.

"Maybe it's Gajeel? I mean, you knew you were supposed to come to Fairy Tail because of a feeling. I mean, he hasn't come in today, so maybe that's it," Jet said. Angel shrugged.

"Maybe. But I can't do much if I don't know for sure. Besides, he might be fine and we're just worrying," she said, though they all knew he wasn't fine per say.

"Makes sense," Droy said.

As the day wore on, Gajeel never showed up and the nervous feeling in Angel's stomach turned into nausea. Levy and the others could see she wasn't feeling well, but said nothing about it, figuring she would just wave them off.

Finally, around six that night Pantherlily flew in the guild looking downright frantic.

"Angel!" He hissed, flying straight to her and landing in front of her on the table. As he spoke she felt her nerves turn into dread, the nausea leaving her body in a split second. "Gajeel's locked himself in his room, and he won't come out. I know something's wrong but I can't get in," he said. Angel jumped to her feet.

"Let's go," she said, and she and Lily hurried out of the guild. She let Lily take the lead as they ran for Gajeel's place of residence. When they arrived Lily pushed the door open and let Angel enter first. The house was dark, but there was an alarming scent that told her right where to go: Blood.

She ran, dodging furniture, and walls, until she came to a locked door. She pounded on it and like she had predicted got no answer. "Gajeel!" She screamed, pounding on it once more. The smell of blood assaulted her heavily here, and though still no one answered, she knew she had the right door.

"I'm sorry about this," she said to Lily before the stepped back from the door.

"Lava Dragon's Talon!" She slammed her foot into the door, which snapped off its hinges and fell over. As she stood straight she felt her breath catch in her throat.

The room was dark, but she could clearly see Gajeel sitting on the floor in the corner. His head had lifted weakly and he looked shocked and scared, two emotions neither Angel nor Pantherlily ever expected to see on his face. He was ten times paler than normal, and she could see a razor in his right hand. His left wrist was cut to shreds, and Angel wanted to scream in rage.

"Idiot!" she shrieked, running straight over to him and dropping to her knees. Before he could react she ripped the razor from his hand and whipped it across the room so hard it disappeared into the wall. Gajeel looked almost like a dear caught in the headlights.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot," she repeated as she took note of the pool of blood on the floor. _There's so much of it… How is he not dead or out cold?! _ She thought. She quickly looked around and went with the simplest solution she could come up with.

She ripped her shirt off and then tied it around his wrist as tight as she could. Gajeel paid little attention to the fact that she was topless, and instead, tried to pull his wrist away from her.

"No…" he whimpered.

"Shut the fuck up!" she growled. "I'm not going to let you kill yourself! Because if you think that that will solve everything, you're wrong!" she snapped. "I know! I've been there! It's not fun, but dying is not the fucking answer!" Gajeel looked taken aback, for a moment before he looked away and did the last thing anyone expected him to do.

He broke down and started to sob.

Angel, however, took it in stride, hiding her shock as she pulled him close, despite his protests. "Shh," she whispered, running her hand over his knotted and tangled hair. "I know… I know how much it hurts… Trust me… I understand." Lily flew over silently, and landed softly next to them. He said nothing, until Gajeel had passed out.

"Was that completely necessary?" he asked. Angel had a sad look on her face.

"Unfortunately yes. It took me getting screamed at a thousand times by Master Bob and Hibiki to get me to let them help me. However, I probably won't scream that much. I'm not much of a yeller," she said, slowly running her hand over Gajeel's hair still. "I wouldn't have yelled this time, but my anger got the best of me." She chuckled once, humorlessly. "But I can't really be mad at him… He doesn't mean it," she said softly. Lily nodded.

"I see. I suppose that makes more sense," he admitted. Angel sighed quietly.

"Why didn't someone catch this before?" she groaned. It was killing her to watch Gajeel go through this.

"I don't know Angel… I don't know," Pantherlily said quietly.

"Would you get me a proper first aid kit, and a brush please?" she asked. Lily nodded.

"Would you like an extra shirt as well?" he asked as he headed for the door.

"Yeah, actually. I would, thank you," she said with a small sigh. Lily nodded again and disappeared into the hallway. He came back about ten minutes later, with a clean black shirt that was way too big, a first aid kit, and a brush, all as she had asked.

First she took the shirt and slipped it on, tucking it into her skirt to make it fit better. After that she untied her shirt from around Gajeel's wrist and went to cleaning and properly bandaging it. She then sighed and turned to Lily, handing him the first aid kit, before turning back to Gajeel and carefully brushing his hair out. It gave her hands something to do, and her mind time to think and calm down.

She knew it was going to take a lot to help Gajeel but she didn't know what she was going to do. She noticed within the first few days of knowing him he was very hard to get to and he didn't let others see his inner emotions.

She had been like that too, but… She had a feeling it was going to be so much worse with him. She sighed as she finished brushing the last of the tangles and knots from his hair.

"Lily, can you help me get him into bed?" she asked softly. Lily nodded and shifted and together they got him off the floor and back into bed. Angel then sighed and turned to the door.

"I really should have been gentle with the poor door," she said with a sigh. Lily looked over at it as well, and then sighed.

"We should probably fix it before he wakes up, but all the closest hardware stores are probably closed. She nodded.

"Oh well. I guess it stays like that until tomorrow," she said with a sigh. "It's not like welding it back into place would help."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked. It seemed like a good solution to him.

"It might not move when I'm done," she said. Lily nodded at that.

"Fair enough."

XxX

When Gajeel's eyes opened in the morning he was immediately aware that he was really dizzy, and he was still lying down. As he slowly sat up his dizziness got worse, and he was confused.

_How the hell did I get into bed? _ He thought. The last thing he remembered was Angel bursting in a yelling at him, taking his razor away, and chucking it at the wall. Then…

He had completely lost control of his emotions and had cried like a little girl. After that he realized he must have fallen asleep because that was the last thing he remembered. Slowly, he looked around and noticed the door, which was now propped up against the wall. He frowned and ran a hand through his hair.

He paused. _What the hell? _He remembered being tangled and knotted and yet, it felt like…

_She brushed my hair? _He thought in confusion. Angel was starting to wonder him. _Either she is completely crazy, or she… Oh never mind! It doesn't matter anyway… _He thought bitterly, clenching his fists and looking down at his lap angrily.

_I can't believe this happening… How the hell did they find out in the first place?! I don't get it! I don't want this! I don't fucking want their help! I just want to die and get it over with… _He looked at his bandaged wrist with a scowl.

_Lovely. An alarm spell in case I try to take it off. God dammit. She's clever, I'll give her that. _He looked up as he heard the rustling of wings. Lily hovered in the doorway, Angel next to him.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked. He glared for a moment before looking away, refusing to answer. She sighed. "Gajeel…" He didn't acknowledge her, and she sighed again, slowly walking towards the bed.

"Gajeel, please. I only want to help you, whether you want it or not which I'm pretty sure, from the cold shoulder I'm getting, you don't," she said, sitting on the foot of the bed, Lily landing right in front of her. He glanced over and noticed she was looking at her lap, one hand on Lily's head.

"Why the hell do you even care?" he snapped coldly. "You're never gonna be able to help me, so why don't you just get out and move on with your little life," he growled. He barely saw her move before he felt the sting of her slap on his cheek. It sent him reeling, the dizziness making his head spin.

"Don't you dare say that! I said the same damn thing when Master Bob and Hibiki tried to help me. But it's not true! But you have to stop fighting me! Dying is not the answer, and I will make you see that. You don't have to make yourself miserable like this Gajeel," she said, clenching her fists at her side, looking down. He looked up a little and noticed she was trembling. Lily was giving him a sad look, and had his arms crossed.

"Why? Why do you care? And why me?" he asked, shaking his head and looking down again.

"I don't know why you Gajeel, it could have been anyone! But I had a feeling I needed to be here, in Fairy Tail, and it looks like I was right. As for why I care and why I'm here, well, I promised Master Bob I would save others from the fate he saved me from. I refused to stand by and watch others lose to the darkness when I know they can beat it. That's why I care Gajeel. You're a person. A person who needs help, not some… Animal to be ignored," she said. She looked sad as she said this, and it made guilt rise in Gajeel's chest and he found it hard to breathe.

"Please, Gajeel," he looked up into teary eyes, as a few of her tears spilled down her cheeks. "Let me help you. You can't let the guilt win. Don't let the darkness take you…" He couldn't speak, and he looked away again.

"Gajeel, you're not alone. You _can _do this. But you have to let us help you," Pantherlily said, his voice seeming to strike a nerve. Tears of his own spilled and fell to the floor.

"Gajeel," Angel said after she had quickly wiped her tears and kneeled in front of Gajeel. "You know the real Graciea wouldn't want this. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself like this, and she definitely wouldn't want you to drown in your guilt either. I know what it's like, the guilt creating a demon to torment you. But it isn't real," she said, putting a hand on his arm. He flinched at her touch, and kept his eyes down.

"How… How did you find out about all of this?" he asked. His voice was quiet, but you could still hear how fragile it was. She knew he was close to breaking down again.

She looked up at Lily, who nodded.

"She'll understand," he said softly. Angel nodded slowly.

"Juvia told us about Graciea," Angel said. "When you got sick on that job, we got worried, and I asked if there was anything unusual going on with you, and they named off things that all pointed to depression. When I saw the cuts on your wrist, I knew. But, Levy and her team had no idea why you would be depressed like this, so we asked Juvia," Angel said softly. "She only told us because she was worried about you, and she wanted to help." Gajeel chuckled once, humorlessly.

"I shoulda' known she'd have been the one who told you," he said quietly. Angel smiled sadly, gently putting her hand on his wrist. He looked at her with eyes of one who is hopelessly lost.

"She cares too Gajeel, we all do, whether we show it or not," she said gently. She carefully reached up and put her hand on his cheek, making him look at her. "You'll be okay Gajeel. I'm sure of it. You'll make it. But you can't give up like this, ever," she said, looking him in the eyes. He looked away uncomfortably.

"And if I don't? I'm not like you Angel," he said, swallowing slowly.

"That's where you're wrong. You're exactly like I was Gajeel. And I'll make sure you come out on top, trust me," she said standing.

Gajeel didn't know what to say. For one, he was still dizzy, and for two, he was still so hesitant to trust Angel. It wasn't her fault. It was his own memories and her resemblance to Graciea that made it so hard for him.

"I want you to see something," Angel said after a long silence. He looked up a little to see her pulling her gloves off her arms, and his eyes widened.

From the crease of her elbows to the top of her wrists were scars from years of cutting. They overlapped, and went every which way. When she turned her arms over, he saw the same patterns from her wrists to her elbows.

"This is how far I'd gone. Seven times I damn near ended it, but…" she chuckled fondly. "Hibiki or Master Bob always caught me. And these," she said nodding at her arms. "Were like my check markers. I would always how far forward or backward by how many new cuts there were. In total I think there's… about 10,970 altogether," she said. Gajeel looked shocked.

"S-So many…" he whispered looking down.

"Now you know why I stopped you last night," she said, slipping her gloves back on.

"Why do you hide them?" he finally asked after a long pause.

"It's not for me. I'd rather have them uncovered as a constant reminder, but it intimidates people, so I just cover them," she said. He nodded slowly.

"Don't worry Gajeel," Angel said after another long pause. "You'll be okay."


	5. Chapter 5: The Past

**Chapter 5: The Past**

A few days passed after that day, and slowly Gajeel noticed the dizziness going away. He didn't feel much better emotionally, but then again, he didn't expect to either. Angel hadn't left his house since, nor had she let him leave.

She had fixed the door, and covered the hole in the wall that the razor had created. It was almost as if that night hadn't happened.

However, they both knew it had, and the bandage on his wrist was a stark reminder of that.

Currently, Gajeel was staring sadly out at the rain. The weather was a perfect match to his mood. He was bored, and caught up in the past… His miserable past. He was sure it would always haunt him. He didn't believe he could be saved. There was no way.

"Hey, how you feeling today?" he looked up as Angel sat down across from him. He shook his head and looked away. She frowned and sighed.

"You want to go somewhere with me?" He looked up again but said nothing. "You know what, no. You are going somewhere with me. I'm not giving you a choice," she said standing. He sighed and started to protest, but she stopped him by putting her hand up. "I mean it Gajeel. There's a couple people I want you to see. Pack your things," she said. He sighed again as she walked away.

_How the hell did I end up in this situation? I don't get it… _He thought running a hand through his hair.

_Guess it doesn't matter anymore… Does it?_

XxX

"Hey, Hibiki," said man looked up as Ren sat down across from him. "You alright? You've been spacing out the last couple days." Hibiki smiled a little and nodded.

"I'm fine. Just… Thinking," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Angel's coming back to the guild for a while." Ren sat up.

"Really? Why?" he asked.

"Apparently, this guy she's been trying to help since she got there is worse than she thought. She's scared that she can't help him like she wants to." Hibiki chuckled once. "She's doubting herself."

"Who's she trying to help?" Ren asked curiously.

"Gajeel. Apparently when he was young and still in Phantom Lord, he killed his little sister in an accident," Hibiki said. "She said she caught him cutting the other day and flipped out. She wanted him to talk to me and Master Bob to see if it will help him. Ren nodded.

"Makes sense. I mean, if Angel's anything, she's crafty," he said. "Did she call you or something?"

"Yeah, last night she contacted me with a lacrima. She's really scared she's going to let him down, I mean, she was crying, and I haven't seen her cry like that since… Before she left this place, and I mean, back when she was still…"

"Yeah, I get it. What was his sister's name?" Ren asked.

"Angel said her name was Graciea. Apparently, she looks like a lot like her, which probably isn't helping anything either," Hibiki said.

"Oh, well isn't that fun," Ren said. "When is she gonna be here?"

"Sometime today I would guess," Hibiki said. Ren nodded and both looked over as the doors to their guild hall opened. "Or, right now."

Ren smiled a little. Standing in the doorway was Angel and Gajeel. Angel had a bright smile on her face, while Gajeel looked less than happy. Next to them hovered Lily, whose expression was unreadable.

"Hey! Look who's back!" a couple of people called out. Angel smiled at them, and scanned the guild hall for one person.

"Hibiki!" she called happily, running over and hugging him as he stood.

"Hey there," he said, hugging her back and then releasing her. "How you been?" she laughed a little and gave him a look.

"We already talked about that," she said, before turning back to Gajeel and grabbing his wrist, pulling him over. "I'm sure you two have already met, so I'm not going to bother with introductions," she said.

"Um, Angel?" Pantherlily asked curiously.

"Oh! Maybe, I should. Sorry Lily. This is Hibiki," she said. She then pointed past Hibiki to where Ran still sat. "And that's Ren. Where's Eve?"

"On a job with Ichiya," Ren said. Angel sighed in relief.

"Thank god! I don't think I could put up with him and his _parfume _crap," she said. Hibiki laughed.

"You sound well," Angel whipped around and squealed in delight.

"Master Bob!" she cried, hugging the man. Gajeel looked at Pantherlily, who also had look of half disgust and half confusion. "It's great to see you again," she said with a smile as she released him.

"You as well dear. And this must be the hunk that dear Hibiki was telling me about?" Bob asked, eyeing Gajeel. He looked away again, a tiny blush forming. Angel laughed, and covered her mouth to muffle the sound as Gajeel glared.

"Yes this is Gajeel," she said shaking her head at Bob who just smiled.

"Well, he's just darling," he said. Hibiki even had to laugh.

"Master, I don't think it's like that," Hibiki said, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, well, either way," Bob said. "Why don't you two get settled in," he said before dancing off. Angel giggled a little and then looked at Hibiki. He shook his head a little.

"Come on, we have a small dorm set up for you two," he said. Angel nodded and grabbed Gajeel's wrist, dragging him along as Hibiki led them through the guild and out to where the dorms were.

"Angel," Hibiki said, catching her arm as Gajeel and Pantherlily disappeared into the small room. She stopped and looked at him, before pulling the door shut before turning to Hibiki and leaning against the door. "When do you want to, um… You know…"

"Tomorrow," she said, looking down. "We had a long train ride, and he hasn't been… doing too well," she said. "I don't wanna push too far right now…" Hibiki nodded.

"You mean like we did with you?" he asked.

Angel sighed. "No, that comes tomorrow."

XxX

"So why the hell are we in here?" Gajeel asked. It was a darkened storage room. A projecting lacrima was set on one of the boxes and was aimed at the wall. It glowed slightly, but projected nothing at the moment.

"There's… Something I wanted you to see," Angel said. Hibiki stood next to the Lacrima, while Bob stood by the door. Lily hovered, and Gajeel was sat in the middle of the room, and Angel stood next to him, her hand on his shoulder. "It's… painful to watch, for me especially, but… You need to see it Gajeel," she said, gently squeezing his shoulder.

"Why?" he asked. He just wanted to be left alone, and to just… die, not watch whatever the hell they wanted to show him.

"Because, even though you don't want our help, you need it," Lily said.

"And I don't want you to end up like me. What we're going to show you is from six months ago," Angel said. "When you see this, you may rethink giving up," she said. Gajeel raised a studded eyebrow.

"Um, okay?" he said, his arms crossed. Angel gave him a sad look before nodding to Hibiki, who kneeled next to the lacrima, and touched it, making it project the recording.

"_NO! Stay the hell away from me!" _Gajeel flinched at the shrill shriek, and swallowed hard. On the wall was a projection of Angel. She looked like hell. She was deathly pale, sickly skinny. Something about it bothered Gajeel immensely.

"_Angel, you have to let us help. You can't kill yourself, and we won't let you do this," Hibiki's voice said. While his face couldn't be seen, his voice held great pain. _

"_Fuck you! And put that fucking camera away! You don't know me! You can't help me! Just go to hell!" She cowered on the floor in the corner, covering her head as she sobbed. Suddenly Bob appeared in the frame, and Angel looked up, tears in her eyes. When her wrists became exposed it was obvious that they were bleeding. As soon as Bob was within spitting distance Angel slammed a Lava covered hand into his face. "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" she screamed before the image cut out. _

_The next image that came up was of Hibiki trying to resuscitate Angel, who had massive bruising on her throat. Next to them was cut noose, and over turned stool. _

"_Dammit Angel…" Hibiki muttered as she started to cough and come back to life. Her eyes darted around, before she started to sob, weakly hitting Hibiki in the chest. _

"_You asshole!" she screamed, as he held her tightly to prevent her from hurting anyone in her current state. "Why?! Why can't you just let me die?!"As this image cut out as well the only sound was Angel sobbing. _

_The final image was not as heated as the first two._

"_I thought you said you stopped." Angel sat in the corner of the same room as the first two images, and she was looking at the floor, crying, Hibiki sitting next to her, holding both her bleeding wrists out. "You promised you were stopping. Why'd you start again?"_

_Angel only shook her head, trembling. "I'm sorry…" she muttered over and over. _

"_Angel why? Why did you start cutting again?" Hibiki questioned again. This time Angel snatched her hands back and covered her face. _

"_I'm sorry!" she sobbed. "I don't even remember doing it! I'm so sorry…" _

_Hibiki sighed. "Oh Angel…"_

Finally after a moment this image faded as well. There were a few more recordings, all documenting things about Angel's recovery, some very disturbing, some a loud struggle full of yelling, some Angel and Hibiki talking somewhat calmly.

Finally when the lights came on Gajeel felt… exposed. He wanted to hide.

"God… I forgot about that second one… I've always had trouble re-watching that one," Angel muttered.

"I know how you feel about that one," Hibiki said. Finally after a minute of tense silence Angel knelt in front of Gajeel, who was looking at the floor.

"Do you understand now why I won't let you give up?" she asked softly. Tears were spilling Gajeel's eyes, and he said nothing, avoiding her eyes.

"I don't want to see anyone else end up like that. I don't want anyone else to go through the hell I did," she said, gently placing her hand on top of his. He yanked it away, and looked away, his fists clenching. "Gajeel, please," she whispered.

"No! Get the fuck away from me!" he snapped, standing so fast his chair fell over. Angel looked startled and fell back a little. "Quit fucking messing with my head! I don't want this! And I don't want your damn help!" he growled, pulling on his own hair before he turned and stormed out of the room. Angel was so surprised she had a hard time recovering. Finally she shook her head and stood. Hibiki and Bob looked at her expectantly.

"Lily, stay here," she said before running out. People in the guild hall looked over and pointed to the doors. She nodded, having expected it. She ran outside the guild and looked both ways down the street, until she noticed Gajeel's large form going quickly away from the guild.

"Gajeel!" she called, running after him. He didn't turn around, or go any faster than he was already going.

It wasn't hard for her to catch up to him, and as soon as she did she grabbed his wrist firmly, pulling him to a stop.

"Gajeel, please," she said, forcing him to look at her. He glared, tears still spilling as he yanked his arm back.

"I said leave me the fuck alone," he growled. He turned and started to walk away again. Angel's fists clenched at her sides and she let out a shriek of anger.

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME GAJEEL REDFOX!" she shrieked. He stopped almost instantly, and tears of her own spilled.

"Damn it Gajeel," she snapped. "If I was messing with your fucking head, you'd be a hell of a lot more miserable then this! I'm trying to fucking help you, and I really don't appreciate the resistance. Hate me as much as you want for this, I don't give a damn. I'm reliving the worst part of my life, and it's not as easy for me as you might think, but I'm doing it because I care, and because I don't want you to fall and lose yourself like I did," she said. Gajeel just stared at her, unable to speak or look away. When he didn't move Angel stepped closer to him, hugging him tightly.

"Please… Let me help you… And even if you don't do this for me, or yourself," she said, hugging him tighter, burying her face in his chest. "Do it for Graciea…" That struck a nerve and he tensed, his breath seeming to rush out of him.

_Why does she keep bringing her up?! _He thought, as he struggled to breathe through the onslaught of emotions.

"Gajeel… I know it hurts to keep being reminded of her… But… if you want to move on and let it go, and find peace and closure… You have to acknowledge it, and accept it…" she said, pulling back to look in his eyes. "I know it's hard, and I know it hurts… But this is the first step, and trust me, if you can get past this, you can beat this…" He looked away and said nothing.

Angel finally sighed and released him. She looked up at his face and then stretched up on her toes and wiped the tears away.

She sighed sadly and took his hand, making him look at her once again.

"Come on… Let's go back to the guild…"


	6. Chapter 6: Storm

**Chapter 6: Storm**

Angel hadn't seen Gajeel outside their small dorm since the day they had made him watch the old videos of her recovery. She had forced him to go back to Blue Pegasus, and he had disappeared into the dorm, and hadn't come out since. Whenever she went in, he laid on his bed, in the same position, every time. She could tell when he was asleep, which most times he was not, and so she figured he was thinking or something, as his eyes were always closed, whether he was asleep or not. Pantherlily checked on him every so often, reporting the same thing every time he did.

It had been at least two weeks since they had left Fairy Tail, and Angel wondered if Gajeel would ever decide he was ready to go home.

However, she had plenty to distract herself with. She had been catching up with her former guild mates, Hibiki especially, and helping Master Bob out behind the bar whenever he needed it.

But most of her time was spent in the storage room, re-watching the videos by herself.

"You know that isn't really healthy right?" she jumped at the sound of Hibiki's voice and sighed, turning off the recording.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "But I'm trying to figure out what clicked, what snapped me out of the depression… I can't remember, and I was hoping it would give me a better idea of how to help Gajeel." She looked back at the blank screen and shook her head. "But I'm getting nothing…"

"Angel, I've already told you," Hibiki said, leaning against the wall. "You're different than he is. His personality is nothing like yours. What you're doing now isn't going to help, because you and Gajeel are two different people. Yes, I believe showing him how bad you were at one point did help a little, but from here on out, basing it on what helped you is only going to ruin what you've worked so hard to accomplish," he said. Angel sighed and looked away.

"Yeah… I know," she said with a sigh.

"Remember that night we got trapped in that cave during a thunderstorm?" Hibiki asked. Angel felt herself go stiff, and looked up.

"Y-Yeah, why?" she asked, a slight hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Well, I think that was _your _turning point. You're scared of thunderstorms, and you were sure we were going to die that night, and that made you want to live," Hibiki said. "Maybe you need to find something that makes Gajeel want to live." Angel nodded a little, letting a shaky breath out.

"Don't mention that again," Angel snapped, getting up and walking out. Hibiki sighed a little but followed her out of the room, shutting the door.

"Whatever you say," he murmured to himself.

XxX

Angel had sat in a corner of the guild, looking out the window at the cloud filled sky. She sighed and looked away from it, to the table in front of her.

_Damn you, Hibiki. You just had to mention that when it looks like it's going to storm,_ she thought bitterly. She wouldn't lie, thunderstorms scared the hell out of her, more so than Lily, as it had been storming the day her family died. The sound the thunder reminded her of the monster's roar, and the lightning of its magic. It was a fear that so far nothing had been able to make her forget, and nothing had ever made her feel safe during a thunderstorm since then, not even her dragon.

The time that Hibiki had mentioned had been embarrassing for her, since she had hidden her fear pretty well until then, and she felt like she had never lived it down, although everyone in the guild had agreed to never mention it, especially to Angel herself. Hibiki had crossed a line when he brought it up, and though he had a solid point, she was still pretty angry at him.

They had finished a job to eradicate a band of thieves in a small town and were on their way back the guild when it had started to downpour. They had taken shelter in a small cave for the night, planning to finish the journey home in the morning.

And then the storm had hit. It had been a week of pure hell for Angel, as the storm raged for at least that long, and nothing they had said had calmed her down. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, or speak. When it had finally passed she passed out and they had to carry her back to Blue Pegasus. When she woke she had a renewed look on life, and had almost miraculously recovered from the depression she had suffered from for a long three years.

Now, that isn't to say she didn't still have issues, and that she was totally recovered. No, she still had issues with cutting and nightmares, and days where nothing could cheer her up, but it wasn't as much of a problem as it had been, and within three months the nightmares stopped, and she had been free of a new scar for almost two months. Since then, she didn't remember having cut herself on purpose, at least from depression, as they had had close calls in jobs where injuring themselves became necessary to save themselves, but it hadn't become a habit again.

She had created a line, and it was a line she refused to cross, ever again, for fear of losing herself, and everything she had built up for herself in the six months she had been free from the depression. Yes she had days where she would be sad and have a bad day, but nothing more than what any other person might have. She had become pretty normal again.

But the thunderstorms completely erased that normal, and she hated it. They took away her reason, and sense of reality, and she never felt safe. She lost control of her mind, and emotions, and her control itself. All of it gone in a blink of an eye… And she didn't remember any of it after.

_Guess there's no point in getting this cross over it,_ she thought. _He was only trying to help._

"Angel," She looked up into Pantherlily's dark eyes, and shook herself from her thoughts.

"Yeah? What's up?" she asked, stretching a little.

"Would you come with me to check on Gajeel? I want to make sure he's okay," Lily said. Angel nodded.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about that too," she said, having thought about it, before her irritation with Hibiki invaded her thoughts. She stood and stretched again, looking once more at the cloudy day. They sky was starting to darken in a way she didn't like one bit, but she played it off, and smiled at Lily. "Let's go then." The exceed nodded and they headed out to the dorm, Angel unlocked the door, surprised to see Gajeel up and staring out a window. As he heard the door open he looked over.

"Hey," Angel said pleasantly closing the door behind her. Gajeel nodded at her, but said nothing. She frowned a little, as Lily flew over to Gajeel. The three of them looked out the window as it started to downpour. The rain fell so hard it was impossible to see anything outside the window. The rain was a wall. Angel could feel fear creep up her spine as she watched the rain fall, her body becoming tense.

"You okay?" Gajeel asked softly, finally speaking for the first time since she had brought him back to the dorm.

"F-Fine," she said shaking her head.

_Knock it off Angel! It's not even storming! Quit getting yourself so worked up! _She thought. However, it wasn't enough to quell the fear in her, and her stomach was beginning to knot up.

"Angel, are you sure you're alright?" Lily asked, turning in the air to face her.

She noticed the lightning flash outside before she could answer, a scream ripping from her lungs as the thunder roared and rattled the windows. Her hands came up over her ears and her eyes squeezed shut as her knees went weak and she dropped to the ground. Gajeel's eyes widened, and even Lily let out a whimper as he also covered his ears.

"A-Angel," Gajeel said, shock coloring his tone as he pulled Lily close to him with one arm. The cat pressed his face into Gajeel's shirt, his small body shaking, much like Angel's. Angel let out another scream, her skin paling considerably as lightning flashed, lighting up the dorm room brightly, as the lights went out. Gajeel looked around at the darkness that was settling around them.

"Mama…" he looked back at Angel, who was cowering on the floor in front of him, as if he was going to hit her, flinching and screaming whenever the thunder clapped, and mumbling to people who weren't there when it was silent. "Daddy… T-Tony… I'm… I'm s-sorry!" she whimpered, staring blankly at nothing. Gajeel had never seen Angel like this, and it scared the hell out of him. Slowly, making sure to keep a firm grip on Lily, he walked forward and kneeled down in front of her, reaching his hand out to her. She cringed away from him, scooting away. "No! Leave us alone!"

"Angel, come on, I'm not going to hurt you!" Gajeel said, completely taken off guard by this behavior.

"No! Leave Mama alone!" she screamed as the thunder clapped again, a small whimper escaping Lily at the same time.

_She's… Hallucinating… _Gajeel thought, watching the shaking distraught girl in front of him. _But… Why?_

"It's so loud… Make it stop…" Angel whimpered, and somehow a thought struck Gajeel.

_She said a demon killed her family… Maybe the storm reminds her somehow? _It was a long shot, but it was a better explanation than nothing.

"Angel," he said, trying to keep his voice even. He reached out for her again, grabbing her arm gently. She didn't look up, and struggled to make him let go with a shriek of utter terror.

"Angel, stop! You're safe! _They're _safe!" he said quickly. He didn't know who they were, but he had to say something, and that seemed like the right thing. "They're safe, just calm down." Gently he pulled her toward him, though she still struggled weakly.

"No! I killed them! They're dead because of me! They're dead!" she shrieked, kicking out at him. Before she could actually land a hit on him he pulled her close and trapped her there, making it impossible for her to hurt either of them.

"Angel, shh," Gajeel said, feeling physical pain in his chest as he watched her go through this. The last time he remembered feeling like this had been right after Metallicana had abandoned him and Graciea, and he watched the young girl sob her heart out. The only other time had been after her death.

Now, it was almost as he felt his heart break watching her grief, even it wasn't real.

"They aren't in pain, they're safe," he said, feeling broken himself in those moments. Angel stopped talking but cried, heart wrenching wails filling the small dorm, drowned out only by the thunder when it rumbled. Between her and Pantherlily, Gajeel almost wanted to cry with them. Instead he just held them both tighter.

The storm raged for hours, and in one flash of lightning he noticed Angel clinging to him, her face buried in his shirt. He felt the tiniest sigh escape him.

He leaned back against the bed frame, his eyes shifting to the ceiling.

XxX

He wasn't sure what time the storm had subsided, or even when he had fallen asleep, but when he woke in the morning, Angel and Pantherlily were both still asleep in his arms. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, until he remembered how they had both gotten there, and he sighed, looking backwards towards the window so see the sun shining brightly. He wasn't sure how Angel would react when she woke, but he knew it probably wouldn't be pretty.

He felt Pantherlily stir slowly, and then the dark furred exceed opened his eyes and looked up at Gajeel tiredly.

"That was some storm," he muttered. Gajeel chuckled once humorlessly.

"No kidding," he mumbled. Lily rubbed his eyes and stretched, flying away from Gajeel and to the window. He stared out at a tree outside the dorm and sighed. Water dripped off the leaves and to a small puddle on the ground.

Gajeel leaned his head back again. He wasn't sure why, but something in him was different today. He could feel it, but he couldn't explain what exactly it was. However, since it wasn't worth wasting his patience to figure it out, he brushed it off.

"Nn…" He looked down as Angel stirred. She looked exhausted as her eyes slowly opened. She sat back and rubbed her eyes and looked up at Gajeel with confusion, as his arms still held her in his lap. "W-What-?" And then she remembered.

_Hibiki… Checking on Gajeel… Raining… And then… _Everything was black, but she knew exactly what had happened. Fresh tears spilled from her eyes and she covered her face.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she whimpered. "I… I can explain last night I just…"

"Don't worry about it, Angel," she looked up at Gajeel's words, almost not believing it. Most people interrogated her until she admitted why she would lose it like that, and… Gajeel wasn't worried about it? "Lily doesn't like storms much either," Gajeel said, reaching up and gently wiping her tears away.

"G-Gajeel…" The corner of his mouth twitched up briefly.

"If ya don't wanna talk about it don't. I ain't worried about it. I'm sure you'll tell me when yer ready," he said, standing slowly, pulling her with him. He ruffled her hair, and started to walk away, probably to the bathroom.

"Gajeel." He stopped and looked back at her.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you…" she said looking down. Gajeel waved it away.

"Told ya not to worry about it."

XxX

After both Gajeel and Angel had had a shower they had each sat on their beds silently. Lily sat with Gajeel and Angel could feel the slight awkwardness of the situation.

"Are you alright Angel?" Lily finally asked. She looked up briefly and then back down.

"I'm fine I just…"

"Just what?" Gajeel asked. Angel took a deep breath to steady herself, so her voice would be calm.

"It's… It's not that I'm scared of the storms… per say," she said softly. Gajeel frowned.

"What?" He asked confused.

"The… the thunder… it sounds like the demons roar... and… The lightning it just like its magic was… It makes me think of the day my family died. The fear is so bad, I black out and lose all sense of myself," she said. "I… I don't mean it, but I can't control it." Gajeel nodded.

Now that made sense.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of it," Lily said. "It's who you are. It shows you still care about your family." Angel shook her head.

"It still… I hate when people have to see it," she said, looking down. Suddenly she felt Gajeel's arms around her.

"Wasn't it you who's been saying the last two months to forgive and forget?" she chuckled once, humorlessly, a small smile slipping onto her face. She looked up into his eyes after returning the hug a little.

"What would you say to going home?"


	7. Chapter 7: Complications

**Chapter 7: Complications**

By noon that day they were on a train home. Hibiki had accompanied them, which didn't exactly thrill Gajeel, but he said nothing. He actually slept most of the train ride, as did Angel and Lily, seeing as none of them had gotten a decent night's sleep the night before. Hibiki read most of the way, letting them sleep.

When the train pulled into Magnolia Station around four Gajeel was still asleep, though Angel and Lily were awake. She giggled a bit as Gajeel slept, snoring the tiniest bit, his head leaned against the window, his mouth hanging open, and drool slipping from his lip.

"Hey, Metal Head," she teased as she shook his shoulder. He twitched a little. "Wake up. We're in Magnolia," she continued, shaking his shoulder again. This time he stirred and his eyes slowly opened.

"Huh?" He muttered, sitting up a bit and shaking his head. He stretched his stiff neck and sighed.

"We're in Magnolia, silly," she said taking their bags from the luggage rack. He blinked once again and stood, and the four headed off the train and out into the town.

"You gonna go home?" Angel asked, glancing at Gajeel as they walked away from the station.

"Yeah, probably," he muttered. "I wasn't ready to wake up ya know," he grumbled, giving her the tiniest smile. She grinned back.

"Too bad," she said with a laugh. "Anyway, I'm gonna go back to the guild and get Hibiki a dorm for a couple days, since it's cheaper than a hotel. I might stop by and check on you on my way home," she warned.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whatever. Let yourself in or whatever. I'll be asleep," he said. She laughed a little.

"Oh I'm sure you will," she said. "What about you Lily?"

"I think I like the idea of sleep as well," the dark furred exceed said. Angel laughed.

"You two are a couple of lightweights. One late night and you're ready to sleep the day away," she teased. Gajeel just shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see ya later," he said, taking a side street away from them. Lily followed after and Angel waved.

"Later!" she called before turning to Hibiki, who had been pretty quiet.

"Let's go get you a place to stay eh?" she asked, giving him a smile. He smiled back and nodded.

"Lead the way."

XxX

A week passed after they returned. For the most part Angel didn't notice anything unusual with Gajeel, which she was grateful for. She figured he was too, since it meant she wasn't bugging him incessantly.

"Hey!" she called as she entered the guild that Saturday morning. He looked up from the bowl of metal in front of him that he had been picking at as she sat down across from him. She gave him a bright smile, to which he gave her a small smile in return.

"You're hyper as hell this morning," he said. She laughed.

"Well, you know. They're having a party tonight at Fairy Hills. You gonna be there?" she asked. He sighed.

"Why would I go to a party?" he asked incredulously.

"Because, I'll be super sad if you don't," she said pouting a bit. He sighed, a small amused smile playing on his face.

"You would eh?" She nodded.

"Come on, its fairies only, and it'll be a lot of fun, please?" she begged sitting up in her seat. Gajeel sighed again and rolled his eyes.

"What's the dress code?" he asked, a tiny bit of exasperation leaking into his voice. Angel grinned and clapped her hands.

"Formal, because for some reason Master's feeling frivolous," she said. He sighed.

"Fuck… Suit and tie… Really…" he grumbled. Angel laughed.

"Angel!" She looked over as Levy ran over, a huge smile on her face. "Are you gonna be at the party tonight?" she asked. Angel smiled and nodded.

"Of course. Do I look like I would miss it?" she giggled. "What's your dress look like?" she asked. Gajeel laughed at how girly she sounded, though she ignored him.

Levy giggled a bit. "It's flowy and white, but it only goes down to my knees," she explained. "And it has sky blue flowering on it, and the bottom hem has sky blue lace. Same with a halter," she said. Angel squealed in delight.

"It sounds so pretty!" she said bouncing in her seat a bit.

"What about yours?" Levy asked. Angel grinned deviously.

"Mines super short, but poofy near the bottom. The under part is blood red, and the top is black and complete lace. It's strapless, and it's tight in the top part. I have stilettoes to match, red, black, and lacey. And I have black lace tip-less gloves to go with." Levy looked awed.

"Wow…" she said, a huge grin lighting her face.

Angel nodded. "And I already have all my hair and make-up planned out," she said. Now it was Levy's turn to squeal in delight.

"Sounds like a better outfit than what you wore to the last party Blue Pegasus had…" both girls turned at the sound of Hibiki's voice and Angel laughed.

"Well, it doesn't help that I was dating a total creep who wanted nothing more than to see my ass fall out of my dress," she said. "So that wasn't my fault, completely." Hibiki laughed.

"Who?" Gajeel asked in confusion.

"His name was Jay Christian. He was major play boy, and he's lucky all of Hibiki's team didn't kill him. He was a creep and perv. I don't even remember why I dated him in the first place. He got kicked out of the guild for bad behavior the day I broke up with him," Angel explained. "Good looking, but that was about it. I wouldn't want my worst enemy to have to date his creepy ass," she said. "And that's saying something, because I would wish a lot of bad stuff on my worst enemy," she joked. Gajeel chuckled.

"You're a feisty one, that's for sure," he muttered.

"I honestly pity the man who falls for you," Jet said as he and Droy walked over. Angel glared at him.

"You should watch who you say that to," she said. "I might have to kick you for it." They all laughed.

"Anyway, what time is this stupid party?" Gajeel asked.

"Seven," Levy said. He nodded.

"Anyway, Angel, are you still going to come with me to the train station?" Hibiki asked. Angel's eyes widened.

"Oh shit! Yeah, I forgot you were leaving today," she said, face palming. Hibiki chuckled.

"No harm done. But I do have to get going soon," he said. She nodded.

"Alright, I'll see you guys at seven," she said, jumping to her feet. Levy nodded vigorously, and Gajeel just waved a tiny bit. She smiled and followed Hibiki out of the guild.

XxX

Why the hell did things like this have to happen to her? She couldn't understand.

As she walked home from the train station she wanted nothing more than to just die. She was embarrassed beyond belief and she felt like a complete traitor, and all because her own feelings and insecurities were rearing their ugly heads.

_And it's all because of Gajeel… And it's not even his fault either… It's yours... _She thought bitterly, the tears stinging in her eyes.

"_So, what are you going to do when Gajeel doesn't need your help anymore?" Hibiki had asked as they waited for his train. _

"_No clue yet. Maybe help someone else… Maybe just travel, take some jobs," she responded. Hibiki nodded a little looking away. _

"_Do you think you'll ever come back to Blue Pegasus?" he asked softly, not looking back at her. _

"_I don't know. Maybe to visit, but I probably won't rejoin… Why?" she asked, her eyebrows raising in confusion. _

"_Just… Curious…" Hibiki said with a sigh, looking down again. Angel frowned. _

"_You okay Hibiki? You've been super quiet all week, and that's not like you," she said. Hibiki just sighed again, and looked up, his eyes focusing on something across the train station._

"_How… How do you feel about Gajeel?" he asked after an awkwardly silent moment. Angel was super confused by this question. _

"_Um… I like him? He's a decent guy, despite his attitude, why?" she asked. Hibiki just sighed. _

"_I knew you wouldn't understand the question," he muttered. _

"_Then explain it to me! What do you mean?" Angel snapped, her irritation getting the better of her. _

"_You said you like him. What do you mean by that? As a friend, as a partner? Something more?" Angel felt her eyes widen at that and a blush spread across her face. _

"_That's none of your business Hibiki!" she snapped angrily. "I don't what the hell's gotten into the last few days but there are just some things you don't ask!" Her eyes were hard and bright with anger. However, Hibiki's next words completely shattered her anger._

"_I asked because I… Because I'm in love with you Angel," he said, keeping his voice completely even. Angel had no idea how to react. Her eyes were wide, and she felt breathless. _

"_H-Hibiki…" she choked out. _

"_But based on your reaction to my question about Gajeel, you don't feel the same way," he said, finally looking at her. His eyes held pain, and sadness. _

"_I-I'm sorry," she said looking down. "You're my best friend Hibiki, but it… It doesn't go much farther than that, I'm sorry," she said. _

"_Is it because I helped you out of the depression? Is that why you don't see me as more than a friend?" he asked softly. _

"_I don't know, maybe?! I don't know Hibiki! I don't know what you want me to say!" she cried. He sighed. _

"_I only ask because chances are that's how Gajeel will see you too," he said. Angel felt pain her chest as those words. _

"_You don't know that Hibiki! You don't!" she cried, starting to feel angry again. _

"_Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," he said with a sigh. He looked up as the train started to come in. "I'm sorry Angel. I didn't want to have to bring this up, but I had no idea when I'd see you again," he said stepping closer to her as more people packed near where the train was pulling up. _

"_I guess this is good bye then Hibiki, because to be quite honest, I don't know if I want to see you again after this," she growled. She felt hurt, and violated. Something she hadn't felt since she was recovering. _

"_I'm sorry," he said again. Finally the train came to a complete stop and people started to board. He looked back at it before looking to Angel. Before he had the chance to lose his nerve he pulled her close and pressed their lips together. Angel was shocked. She wanted to scream and push him away and maybe hit him a couple times while she was at it, but she was completely frozen. _

_Before she could unfreeze he pulled away and stepped back. _

"_Good bye Angel," he said before getting on the train. Angel felt an angry sob escape her as she watched the train pull away…_

She slammed her front door shut and leaned against it, fresh sobs escaping her. She hadn't felt this upset over anything but a thunderstorm in a long time. Some of the things Hibiki had mentioned brought out her insecurities. She'd always been nervous about trying to be more than friends with someone, for the simple fact that she felt like they'd hate her because of her past. Even though she had mostly recovered from her depression, it was one thing she couldn't shake.

The other insecurity he had touched on had been her not feeling the same way about someone. She had always had trouble coping with not liking someone back. It made her feel like she was letting them down. It was something she had struggled with since she was a child. It was why she had ended up dating Jay. Because of her stupid insecurity.

She felt like her head was spinning, and she couldn't breathe through her sobs. She hadn't gone back to the guild for a reason, because she didn't need anyone to see her like this, and she sure didn't need Gajeel to see her like this. Who knows what that would do to him?!

She looked over at her bed where her dress and everything else was laid out and just stared at it.

_I don't even want to go. There's no point after everything that Hibiki said. I'm just going to be upset and insecure the whole night… _She thought miserably, slowly walking over and running her hand over her dress.

_Because you know that Gajeel would be pretty pissed if he went and you weren't there, _she thought again with a miserable sigh. She looked out the window and felt tears fall down her cheeks again.

With a sigh she turned and headed into her bath room and took a bath to try and take her mind off it. The next few hours became a blur, and she barely remembered anything.

As she got up and watched the bloody water disappear down the drain she felt the tears return as she stared at her arm which was completely shredded and cut up.

_What have I done?_

XxX

_I don't even know why the hell I'm here,_ he thought exasperatedly. _I haven't seen Angel anywhere... _

"Gajeel!" He turned at the sound of his name and saw Levy coming toward him, Jet and Droy in tow. "You made it!" she said cheerfully.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "Have you seen Angel?" he asked tiredly.

"She's on the terrace," Levy said, her smile falling. "She's been out there crying since she got here…" Gajeel's eyebrows furrowed.

"Why?" he asked.

"We don't know," Jet said.

"She wouldn't tell us," Droy finished. Gajeel felt his eyebrows furrow more.

"Great…" he muttered. "I guess I'll be on the damn terrace then," he muttered before heading out.

The small terrace patio was lit with small Chinese lanterns. It was set up for people to be out there sitting, and yet the only person out there was Angel who sat on the steps leading out to the beach. Gajeel frowned a bit.

"Go away Levy," Angel said from where she sat, her voice trembling. Gajeel huffed.

"I ain't Levy sorry," he said. Angel jumped as he spoke and turned and looked at him. Her make-up had run down her face and her eyes were red as if she had been crying for longer than just the party. He slowly moved toward her, confused.

"G-Gajeel…"

He ignored her and kept walking until he stood next to her, and then he slowly sat down and rested his arms on his legs.

"What's wrong Angel?"


End file.
